MORE than you EVER cared to know about me!!!

I found this "thing" called 500 Questions that's kinda interesting. While ALOT of the questions are stupid, some are thought provoking and give an insightful perspective.
I hope you enjoy them! It takes a LONG TIME to answer 500 Questions!!!

1. What brand of toothpaste?
Arm & Hammer Baking Soda & Peroxide for good gums!
2. Shampoo + Conditioner in one ..or separate?
3. What Brands?
Neutrogena T-Gel
4. What flavor dental floss: Mint, cinnamon, bubble gum, or regular?
Never use
5. Do you roll your socks, pull them up, or ?
pull them on... "rolling on" is for condoms
6. Toilet paper: wad or fold?
fold actually
7. Do you know Donald Duck's middle name?
8. Favorite color?
9. Summer footwear: sandals or nothing?
sandals or thongs
10. Apples, oranges, or bananas?
11. Lefty or righty?
12. Glass is half-empty or half-full?
half is half... 
13. Bleh or blah?
14. What do you like about yourself?
my hair
15. Would you ever wear Taz boxers?
16. Do you sing in the shower?
not unless I have someone in it to sing to...
17. Do you talk to your cat/dog/rodents?
don't have her anymore, but did when I had her
(St. Bernard named Bridget)
18. Do you talk to yourself?
yeah, no one else to talk to
19. Do you have a secret crush on your dentist?
I don't have a dentist.. I have perfect teeth
20. Do you know your mailman/woman's name?
21. Do you give your mailman/woman a gift on Xmas?
22. What's your pet peeve?
Intolerant people who are so plastic, they'd make a good
CREDIT CARD... I like REAL PEOPLE   23. What is the lamest pick up line u've ever used? If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?   24. Would you ever buy/use a pink pen? yeah   25. Would you ever buy ANYTHING pink? yeah, flamingos   26. Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny? Mickey Mouse definitely   27. Do you think Daffy Duck is hot? Nope, stupid.   28. Would you ever recite poetry to a guy? yeah, and WRITE him some too!!   29. If you HAD to, what color nail polish/lipstick would you wear? dusty rose, GLOSS   30. Do you bite your lip when you're nervous? yup   31. Would you skip school if you had a huge zit between your eyes on picture day? not a problem any more.   32. Do tight jeans make guys look gay? yeah, and I love it! (like that's a bad thing?)   33. How do you take mascara off? I don't wear Mascara   34. Would a girl wearing blue/green mascara turn you on? only if she's well hung   35. Do you know HOW to figure out bra size? uh, measure the nerf balls and divide by 2?   36. Would u ever wear lip gloss? yeah, clear   37. What's better: gummi sweettarts or sweettart gum? sweet tart gum   38. M&Ms or Skittles? M&M's, CRUNCHY   39. Do you go to public places with your mom, and actually TALK to her? yeah... enjoy it while you can!!   40. What is 1 + 1 ? if you're a breeder, it CAN = 3 without protection!! but for HOMOS, it = FUN!!!   41. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas   42. Pick one: RuPaul - Dennis Rodman oh RuPaul, definitely!!!   43. How old are you? Born 11/1954, you do the math!!   44. How old do you WANT to be? 18 again, with chance to do it all RIGHT this time!   45. Where do you want to live? Europe, Argentina, or anywhere with my boyfriend   46. Where do you want to go? Australia   47. Who do you want to meet? Julie Andrews and Dolly Parton   48. Do you like Kool-Aid? yeah   49. Does pine-sol smell good? NO!!   50. What are your favorite pizza toppings? EVERYTHING, but Anchovies and OLIVES!! YUCK   51. Do you like toast? with lots of butter!!   52. Do you still carve pumpkins? sometimes   53. Do you still leave cookies & milk out for Santa? yeah, (I'm Santa!!)   54. Have you lost all your (baby) teeth? Yup   55. Have your wisdom teeth seen light yet? How can they see light? they're wisdom teeth, not EYE TEETH.   56. Clear or colored? hmmm.. what are we talking about? usually colored.   57. When your dentist asked, what flavor fluoride did you pick: bubble-gum, grape, or mint? he never asked, I didn't tell...   58. Where is your hand right NOW? typing this answer   59. What is better: your right ear or left pinky? depends on what I'm wanting to do.. listen or play?   60. Okay or O'tay? oh, okey dokey   61. French poodle or french kiss? French KISSING is da bomb   62. Are 2 x 4's really 2 inches by 4 inches? nope   63. If not, how big are they REALLY? 1 1/2 X 3 1/2.... Big enough   64. Do you have a 2 x 4 or a 1 x 2? I have a 7 X 5 1/2... and YOU?   65. Do you know your parents' birthdays/ages? yeah   66. Do you know your siblings birthdays/ages? yeah   67. Does your grandma tell you she is 29? nope...   68. Have you ever used colored white-out? yeah   69. What do you think of Smurfette? I think she's really a SMURF in drag!!! I mean, why would there be only ONE girl? come on now!!   70. What is your favorite book? Lord of the Rings   71. How does a cabin far, far away, with a fire, candles,
and the one you love sound? absolutely fabulous!!!   72. Salmon or Cod? EWWWW.. I don't DO FISH!!! But if I HAVE to.. let it be HADDOCK!   73. Crab or Lobster? NEITHER!!   74. What sounds better: up or down? sometimes up, sometimes down.. sometimes top, sometimes bottom   75. What sounds better: sideways or sidewards? sideways is fun   76. Ok, NOW where is your hand? still typing   77. Describe the best day of your life. Hasn't happened yet, I'm still alone. but so far, the day
I met Michael from Norway in Stockholm, Sweden... *sigh*   78. Broom or mop? neither!! they don't fit my hands   79. What is your favorite word? kewl   80. Free! Don't have to answer this since there is no question. oh but I want to answer!! really I do!!   81. What is your full name? Puddin n Tain.. ask me again and I'll tell you the same...
(Carlin Wayne Langley)   82. What do you wish your name was? George Lucas Jr. or William Gates Jr.   83. Describe your kinkiest fantasy. Oh my!!! There isn't room here... besides, I've already done it!!   84. What is the weirdest middle name you've ever heard? nothing comes to mind   85. Are your feet the same size? yeah, HUGE. 15 EEE's   86. Cassettes or CD's? CD's   87. Is watching "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" a tradition
in your home? Nope, hate Dr. Seuss   88. What are your Christmas traditions? not opening the presents till Christmas morning and spending
it at my parent's house.   89. How do you open your envelopes: tear or cut? cut   90. 410 more to go, are you bored? getting there.   91. Do you like onions? OH YEAH!!!   92. What would you name your band, if you had one? Dischord   93. Have you ever worn a dress? tried, but couldn't find one big enough   94. Did you know that if you talk into a vent, someone in a
nearby room will hear you? yeah, done it.   95. Frogs or toads? neither... hmmm. well, at least you can eat Frog's legs..   96. Do u believe in making a wish at 11:11? never heard of it???   97. 8 or 3? heheheh.. in my mind, I'd rather have 8...   98. How long can you hula-hoop for? not enough room... ;-)   99. Did you know Dave is AWESOME? Haven't had him? don't know?   100. You made it to 100. Do you love me now? NO.. you're obviously FEMALE...   _____________________________________________________   I lied, there are more...   101. Did you ever eat crayons when you were little? Nope   102. On your last birthday, what did you wish for? to be with my man...   103. Do you know all the words to the National Anthem? yeah, all the verses.   104. Is watching the Superbowl a party in your house? Hell no...   105. Are you going to name your son Elvis? Nope, no more kids.   106. If not, what? now why would I name him WHAT?   107. What about your daughter? Wouldn't she be teased alot if I named her Elvis?   108. Describe your most embarrassing moment. me, embarrassed, oh please!!!   109. Do you read tabloids? Nope.   110. Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on
a dress and played a girl bunny? Nope.. like chicken, not bunnies.   111. Do you like cotton candy? oh yeah...   112. Do you suffer from cramps? nope   113. Do you have that not-so-fresh feeling? only after sex.   114. Favorite food? stuffed peppers.   115. What would be the first thing you would do if you won the
lottery? Fly to my man... and take a world trip.   116. Ribbed or plain? ribbed.   117. "Lala" or "Skittle de bop du wop"? Lala..   118. Apple pie or cherry pie? Love Cherry!! oh.. pie... uh, yeah, still cherry!   119. Pepsi or Coke? Cherry Pepsi   120. Strawberry or Vanilla? definitely VANILLA, (except sex!!)   121. Favorite movie? The Sound of Music   122. Favorite Actor? Leonardo di Caprio   123. Favorite Actress? Julie Andrews   124. Cheerios or corn flakes? Cheerios, but would prefer Golden Grahams.   125. Panty hose or thigh-highs? NEITHER!!!   126. Do you shave your legs? NOPE... but shave other's   127. Midnight or mid-day? Midnite!   128. Hope or Billy? Billy   129. Cottonball or Q-tip? Q-tip!!   130. Dry or lubricated? Lubed of course...   131. Fast or slow? both..   132. Hard or soft? need you ask???   133. Yogurt or ice-cream? Prefer IceCream, usually get Yogurt   134. Spoon or fork? Spooning is fun!!   135. Are you crying right now? why? should I be?   136. Fling or flick? hmmmm. I take the 5th.   137. Look at your middle finger, on your right hand, what do
you see? a fat finger...   138. Look to your left, what do you see? The Williamsburg Bridge between Brooklyn and Manhattan in NYC.   139. Look to your right, what do you see? My messy bedroom.   140. Who is at your house right now? No one better be!!   141. Are your legs crossed right now? oh yeah right, like I can cross my legs??? I'd smash my balls!!   142. Do a few twirls, are you dizzy now? You twirl, I'll watch.   143. Favorite song? To Dream, the Impossible Dream.   144. Boxers or briefs? on me or others? on me, briefs, on others, boxers   145. Tootsie pops or blowpops? tootsie, grape   146. Big Red, Juicy Fruit, or Doublemint? Big Red   147. Do you like to fish? NO!!!!!!!!!!! after 21 years of marriage??? NO WAY!!   148. Is your grandpa cool? Jeez... he died so long ago... I guess they were?   149. Does your grandpa bore you with long stories? They were never boring!!   150. Do you snore? OH YEAH!!!   151. Describe how your breath smells right now. You would't want to know...   152. If you were a girl, would you rather be "Matilda" or "Alexis." I'd NEVER be a girl!!! missing vital equipment!!   153. Does it taste good? last time I had "it", it did...   154. Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge? I lick anything I can......   155. Do you chew on pens/pencils/--? Nope.. I have "other" oral fixations.   156. What is your favorite comic (like in the paper!) ? the Born Loser...   157. Acting class or class act? class act...   158. Upside-down or downside-up? hmmm. cake or what? I think "down side, up" sound fun...   159. What's up? nothing yet.. wanna help?   160. What does "GROWL TIGER" make you think of? nothing?   161. What does this -> .dm,'fglkserhngjkqb; make you think of? Rose's typing.   162. Blondes or brunettes? WHAT? No red heads? (and red pubes?) OK.. if I must, BLONDEs
(true blondes) Prove it!!   163. Push or pull? first you push, then you pull, then you push, then you pull..   164. If a door says pull, do you automatically push? now why would I do that?   165. Do you even read those door things? what door things?   166. Do spiders scare you? Nope.. only one in Italy... :-(((   167. What does? growing old alone.   168. Did you know I was scared of FROGS when I was a baby? now that's silly!! afraid of Kermit???   169. What was your first word? Dinner!!!   170. What was your first phrase? FEED ME!   171. What can you not pronounce? Norwegian   172. Did you know my phone just rang? yeah, I called you to ask you why in the hell you wrote this???   173. Is your phone ringing? Nope...   174. What's your phone number? 1-800-IWantYou   175. Do you eat your toe-nails? like I'd admit it if I did?? Jeesh...   176. Are you in drag right now? if I was, I'd be getting some pretty strange looks!!   177. Wal-Mart or K-mart? WalMart... sorry Eric! (he works for K-Mart)   178. Jim Carrey or Mariah Carey? Jim for sure   179. How many REAL push-ups can you do? LOL.. yeah, right.   180. How many fake push-ups can you do? oh hundreds!!   181. Go run a mile. You have ten minutes. -- Are you tired now? YOU go run a mile... I'll be here when you get back.   182. Does your bike have 2 wheels? Yup.   183. Are they flat? How'd you know?   184. Can you do a hand-stand? Hell no!! I weigh 400#.. could YOU if you weighed 400#??   185. Front or back? Love BOTH!!   186. Walk backwards for 5 steps. Stop. Turn around. What time is it? Time to find a new survey!!   187. Are you on fire right now? oh yeah, sure.   188. If I give you a piece of paper, what are the odds of you not
eating it? pretty good, although once upon a time, I did. (guess I needed
the fiber?)   189. Sprite or 7-up? Mountain Dew...   190. Mug Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? IBC Root Beer, or Vanilla Cream Soda is even better!!   191. Bambi or Thumper? DAMN, that's a tough one!!! Bambi's cuter, but Thumper would
taste better fried!   192. Do you think Flower is hot? Oh NO!!   193. If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you? You first... I'll be right behind you.   194. Would you lick Prince's feet for $5? Prince who? Prince William, YEAH!! Prince Charles, HELL NO!!   195. Do you know there are people who would do that for free? Yeah, but they need to get a life, or buy a clue (or a vowel
from Vanna)   196. Umm... can you count how many questions are left? Just living life one question at a time..   197. Is your left pinky right-handed? Nope, it's not confused and neither am I...   198. 5+7+8-1234569%555x3=? -411078177 Yup.. did it on the calculatorr!!   199. If you had 5 dollars, went to the store to buy 1 apple for
50 cents, but they were out, how many apples would you have? I'd stop to pick them off the tree on the way silly!! So I'd have
my apples and my $5 too!   200. Do you know how many calories you burn when you do the
wild thing? Not enough! So better keep on going!   201. How do you spell Czechoslovakia? That's pretty close. (Don't you have spell checker?)   202. Can you burp whenever you want? that's rude!!   203. Will you call me? Nope.. You call me!   204. What is the corniest pick-up line you've ever HEARD? Hey sexy, where you been hiding?   205. When you sit are you actually standing? Huh? that's dumb   206. Spit or swallow? depends on the guy!!   207. When it's time for you to go to bed, do you go or stay up
talking to me? talking to you? I don't think so, but talking to others, yeah.   208. Did you know Mariah Carey rulez? who died and put her in charge?   209. How old were you when you were 12? honestly? about 25...   210. On a good day how many tootsie pops can you eat? never found out... you don't eat em.. You SUCK them!!   211. On a bad? on a bad what? what kind of grammar is that?   212. X-Men or Power Rangers? X-Men rule!!   213. Go into a crowded public place.. try to bite your ear and
hit your chest.. What happens? yeah, right, and get committed!! how about I bite YOUR ear and
hit YOUR chest?   214. Do people give you money? Yeah, actually, but wish I didn't need it..   215. Pizza or squid? oh PIZZA definitely!!!   216. Love or war? LOVE   217. What's your favorite sense: touch, sight, hearing, smelling,
or taste? And why? I'd have to say it's a toss up between TASTE and TOUCH.. long as
"he's" hot, either one is fun!!   218. If you could relive one day of your life, what day, and why? the day I said, YES to my girlfriend... I'd have said, HELL NO!!!   219. Shake or stir? Shake and Bake...   220. Pen or pencil? Pen I guess.. but who still writes??   221. On or off? First you have to get ON before you can get OFF!!   222. Ribbit or croak? Ribbitting is more fun I think, than croaking would be!   223. Comb or brush? brush   224. Sitting: indian-style or on your knees. on my knees please.. or on your knees would be better!!   225. What do you call them: Bangs or fringe? oh Banging is more fun...   226. How long are yours? my what? thought I answered that one!!   227. How long is it? See 226   228. Will you please send me your picture? you show me your's and I'll show you mine...   229. A large group of friends or a best friend? best friend   230. Nick or Shawn? never had Nick.. Shawn was fun.   231. Lori or Kim? NO WAY!!   232. Laurie or Lori? See 231   233. Chris or Kris? Either one will do.. Had both!!   234. Who is the most perverted person you've ever met? ME!! Michael is close second.   235. Why? Oh my... you don't want to even know!!   236. Who is the weirdest person you've ever met? wow.. hard question!! there's so many! I met Freddy Krueger, does
that answer your question?   237. Why? you figure it out.   238. Would you consider yourself: wild or mild? oh wild... my mild days are over!!   239. Would you consider yourself: shy, fly, high, or dry? fly I guess.   240. Would you consider yourself: bad, rad, mad, or sad? (ok these
are lame so what :P) mostly sad for now.   241. Wind, water, or fire? water   242. Earth or sky? sky   243. Iced or hot? hot   244. Mocha or regular? regular   245. Would you like fries with that? onion rings.   246. Single or double? double everything!!   247. Mild or hot sauce? Mild   248. What do you think about guns? fun on New Years...   249. What color is your hand? flesh usually, unless I've been decorating cakes..   250. Do you like being called nice? yeah   251. Are you right-faced? huh? are you two faced?   252. If you were a frog would you eat flies? survival is the name of the game!! it's eat or be eaten!   253. Do you eat flies already? oh come on now.. I eat what's behind FLIES.. (You figure it out!!)   254. If you were a cat would you eat rats? I'd never be a pussy...   255. Do you have a pet rat? nope   256. Name your pets. got rid of them all.   257. Do you love your pets? I did.. miss them.   258. Are you an exclamation kind of person or a period? oh an exclamation!!   259. Do you love me (question mark) love is impossible until you meet the person, hence the answer
thusly would be in the negative.   260. VHS or hi-8? VHS I guess, but DVD is better!   261. What is better: sand or dirt? dirt.. sand is gritty   262. What is better: walks on the beach with sand flying at you
or walks in the mountains with killer squirrels? give me a beach anytime!!   263. Are you scared of small animals? Nope.. they're scared of me.   264. Alvin, Simon, or Theodore? ALVIN!! he's cute   265. Leave-in or Rinse-out? Leave in...   266. Straight, waves, or curls? oh give me waves or curls.. anything STRAIGHT IS Definitely OUT!!!   267. Who is your favorite power ranger? White Ranger..   268. Who is your favorite smurf? Handy Smurf   269. Who is your favorite GI Joe? Didn't know there was any other than Joe?   270. Do you love Optimus Prime? Nope   271. How did Optimus Prime die in Transformers - the movie? who cares?   272. Did you watch Pee Wee's Playhouse when you were little? Nope, hated it.   273. Would you watch it now if it was still on? oh yeah, right..   274. How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center
of a tootsie pop? The world will never know.   275. Will the world ever know? See 274   276. Did you have to go ask Owl to find out? Nope, I'm wiser!!   277. Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Kanga, Roo, Piglet, Eeyore, Rabbit,
or Owl? Ask my grandson that one...   278. Was Winnie The Pooh better as a cartoon or puppets? YES... now you figure that one out.   279. Have you ever been to Disneyland? Nope   280. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yup   281. If not, do you want to? If yes, do you want to go again? Yup..   282. Have you ever been out of the country? Oh yeah, many times.   283. If so, where? All over Europe twice, and Italy and Norway.   284. Do you like where you live? yeah, now I do... in New York City   285. Do a cartwheel. Was that fun? Are you CRAZY?????   286. Count your fingers. How many do you have? Still 8.. how many do you have?   287. How many times has Wile E. Coyote been squished? Not quite enough.   288. Do you secretly wish the road-runner would get caught? oh no!!   289. Who is better: Sylvester or Tweety? Tweety.. I taut I taw a putty tat!   290. Is your room messy right now? actually, No.. surprisingly..   291. Count your fingers again. How many do you have now? ONE.. my middle one, aimed at whoever wrote this!!!   292. Are you sure you counted correctly? are you sure you wrote this?   293. Do you have a thing for Peter Cottontail? Nope.. told you Thumper's my type.   294. Have you ever been in love with a cartoon character? yeah.. Aladdin.. he's cute!!   295. What is your favorite TV show? Star Trek, the Next Generation... (runner up, My Mother, The Car)   296. Who is your favorite cartoon character? SpiderMan   297. Who is your favorite TV character? Superman from the original series.   298. What is your favorite awards show? The People's Choice Awards...   299. Do you think you are going to be famous one day? Yeah, when the results of this survey get posted!   300. If so, for what? If no, why not? See 299   301. What was the last certificate/award you got for? Father of the Year from my daughters   302. Are you obsessed with sports? uh, Water Sports, yeah! ;-)   303. What is your favorite sport? See 302   304. Do you watch or play that sport? As often as I can.   305. What is your favorite basketball team? Harlem Globetrotters   306. What is your favorite baseball team? St. Louis Cardinals   307. What is your favorite hockey team? The 1980 US Olympic Champion Team!! Go USA!   308. What is your favorite football team? I guess I have to say the RAMS..   309. Favorite players? I don't like players... been used too many times!   310. What is the most boring thing to watch on TV? PBS Channel   311. Do you watch golf? Nope   312. Who is your favorite golfer? don't have one   313. If you said you weren't bored before, are you now? If yes,
SHUSH! getting there.   314. What are you the King of? my castle.   315. Can you name all the characters on the Simpsons? Nope.. just BART.. he's the only one who counts!   316. What is the bartenders name? I don't know   317. What is the quickie-mart's owner's name? I don't care   318. Who is the police chief? I care even less.   319. What is your school called? The Learning Center   320. What grade are you in? There are no grades!!   321. What are your school colors? grey   322. What is your school mascot? a MOUSE   323. What clubs are you in? it's a secret...   324. Do you have a specific person who is your school mascot? LOL.. nope.. can't find anyone to fit the costume!!   326. How many teachers do you have? 5... least they get paid for it...   327. What is your favorite subject? Optimization and Utilization..   328. Why? Getting the most out of what you've got to work with!!   329. What is your worst subject? Answering this questionaire.   330. Why? It's dumb and LONG   331. What do you wish you had done in the past, but didn't? Oh that's just TOO LONG to go into.   332. What do you wish you hadn't done? gotten married and tried to be straight.. (except for THEN, I
wouldn't have my girls or my little Dylan!!)   333. What do you wish for? someone to share my life with, more than anything else.   334. What are your goals? to make lots of money, so I can enjoy life to it's fullest with
someone special.   335. What do you plan to be? A big boy..   336. Are you going to college (now or future?) kinda.. Computer school   337. Did middle school suck? HEY.. I suck too! sucking's not a bad thing!!   338. Did elementary school suck? See 337   339. Did you call elementary school something else? (grade school,
basic?) grade school.   340. How many people go to your school? it changes daily!!   341. How many did you wish go to your school? N/A   342. Do you hate anyone? yeah, the person who wrote this stupid survey   343. Do you love anyone? my daughters and my grandson, and my Mom.. very much.   344. Do you have a friend that you wish wasn't? Hmmmm.. maybe.   345. Do you read your horoscope? yeah, daily   346. Do you believe in that stuff? sometimes.   347. Whipped cream or fudge syrup? both, can be fun!!   348. Please tell that someone that you love, just what you're
thinking of, if tomorrow never comes! Did they like it? yeah, been there, done that...   349. Do you pick up pennies off the ground, if you find them? yes, and make a wish   350. Have you ever found someone's wallet? nope   351. Did you give it back? But I would...   352. What is the most money you've ever found at once? $100   353. Who is your favorite model? Don't have one   354. Do you think women with a lot of makeup on are prettier? who cares?   355. Do you want to be a model? oh yeah, right.   356. Can you walk the runway? I can walk the walk, can you talk the talk?   357. Have you ever pretended you could? Give it a rest.   358. Are you too sexy for your clothes? yeah, right.   359. Have you ever gone out with more than one person at a time?
If so, what happened? Well, yes.. 1000 miles away wasn't any better than 5000 miles away..   360. Do you read other people's mail? nope, not unless I feel a need.   361. Are you Curious George? nope   362. Do you like monkeys? yeah, they're cute.. especially Davey..   363. Do you look like a monkey? No, but my EXWIFE did when she was born.. further comment reserved.   364. Are yawns contagious? *YYYAAAAWWWWWNNNNNN*.. yeah   365. Does yawning turn you on? depends on who's yawning.. sometimes.   366. Do you like Alanis Morissette? No, but I like her music.   367. Do you think she is pretty? dunno?   368. Do you think she is a good singer? yeah   369. What type of fetishes do you have? too numerous to mention.   370. Do you wear socks on in bed? No, I don't wear nothin   371. Do socks turn you on? nope   372. What do your weirdest socks look like? my religious socks.. the HOLY ones.   373. Do your socks have holes in them? SEE 372   374. Do you want a Volkswagon? Nope, too small... not enough "head room"   375. What is that kind of phone called with the round dialer
thing that they don't make now? antique, like me.   376. Do your socks smell? Nope, they don't have a nose...   377. Do you smell? yeah, but I stay away from socks...   378. What do you smell like? that depends on whether it's Friday (right before my Saturday bath)
or on Sunday, (right AFTER my Saturday bath)   379. Will what you smell like make me puke? depends on what day you try me...   380. What cologne do your wear? Curve   381. Or do you wear perfume? how'd you know?   382. Does it smell better or worse than you? usually better.. depends on your preferences.   383. Do you like CK-1 or CK-Be? CK-1 is fine..   384. Do you wish you were a woman? Nope.. vital equipment missing!!!   385. So what's your foot doing right now? nothing, it can't type.   386. Look up, what's there? Heaven   387. Do you have cable? Yeah   388. Do you have extended-cable? yeah, wanna come over and watch a movie on Sci-Fi with me?   389. Do you think the word "HyPeRnEsS" sounds cool? I guess? is that a word?   390. Do you have caller ID? Yeah   391. Do you have call waiting? and I've even got "Call Waiting ID"   392. Do you have 2 phone lines? Nope, not any more.   393. Do you think the phone company rips you off? oh yeah!!   394. Do you like your mom? yeah, she's the BEST!! couldn't get along without her.. hope I
don't have to for a long time!   395. Do you like your dad? He was ok... we "made up" before he died...   396. Do you like your siblings? I like him... he doesn't like me.   397. Now that you've been filling this out for a while, do you
still remember what 1+1 = ? it still could be 3 without protection.. watch out!!   398. Do you have to use the bathroom now? Nope, do you?   399. When was the last time you did? don't remember.. no reason to.   400. Do you have a guy bathroom or girl bathroom? everything I have is GUY...   401. Are you the God of Kinkiness? Actually, YES.. "Do you want to play a game?"-Whoppr from War Games   402. What is your bathroom's color theme? like it has one?   403. What room are you in now? In my bedroom, looking out over New York City from the 11th floor.   404. What color shows up there the most? heheheh.. sometimes black, sometimes white.. sometimes yellow..
depends on who's available!   405. Do you know who Keroppi is? Nope, and don't care.   406. Do you know what Sanrio is? See 406   407. Can you wink with either eye? yeah, like a train signal!   408. Can you roll your tongue? roll it on who?   409. Do you have a chin-cleft? nope. but have 2 or 3 chins?   410. Do you like MTV? Yeah, but VH1 is better   411. Do you like Beavis and Butthead? Nope, they're stupid.   412. Are you double-jointed? Nope, but love guys who are!!   413. When was the last time you went to a picnic? don't remember.. guess that means it's time huh?   414. Do you like parks? yeah, with someone special.   415. Do you like hiking? not usually   416. Do you like kids? only mine.   417. Are you a kid? oh yeah.. a kid in a 47 year old body!!   418. Do you want kids? Been there, done that...   419. Do you want kids now? not any more..   420. How many kids do you want? 2's enough.   421. Do you want to be a single parent? no way!!   422. Are you going Easter egg hunting? not till Easter!!   423. Do you hide Easter eggs from yourself? uh, Yeah, I have.. couldn't find them either!! I'm good!   424. Do you hide gifts/money from yourself so you find them later
and are surprised? Nope.. none to spare!!   425. Do you like your memories? some yes, some no.. mostly NO... looking to make new ones with
someone special!!   426. Have you ever been digging in your backyard (if you have one)
and found something interesting? yeah.   427. If so, what? If no, start digging! just arrowheads and things...   428. Did you know my phone just rang again? oh will you just get off your phone and finish the damned
questions!   429. Now is yours ringing? NO!!!   430. What is your favorite radio station? got several!!   431. Do you know what a jingle is? yeah.. it's what bells do at Christmas.   432. Does your radio station have one? I don't have "one" radio station.   433. Have you memorized all their commercials? Nope, they keep changing them!!   434. Do they play as many commercials as they play music? who cares?   435. What kind of music do they play? lots of different kinds.   436. Are you hungry right now? Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.   437. Do you know of all the radio stations in your area? yeah   438. Do you not even care? not really, why do you?   439. When were you the most surprised last/ever? I never get surprised.. Last time I remember was my 39th birthday.   440. Why? What happened? Got "arrested" and taken out for dinner and party... it was LAME.   441. Uhoh. My phone rang again. Did you know that time? FUCK YOU.   442. Do you like it or hate it when people call? no one ever calls.   443. Are you psychic? Yes, very.   444. Are you psycho? some would say so....   445. Do you like Beck? who's BECK?   446. Do you have 2 turntables and a microphone? Nope, 1 turntable and 3 microphones.. wanna karoake?   447. Do you want to be a DJ? Nope.. but I've had one.   448. Are you a DJ? Nope, but I've had one.   449. Do you know "where it's at"? I never lost it.. did you? I'll help you find "it"   450. Where do you want to be right now? with someone special.   451. Make a fist. Do you feel manly now? Ok... now Bendover and then I'll feel something manly.   452. Do you like school? yeah.. as long as I can do this kind of stuff here and get away
with it.   453. Do you bathe daily? who wants to know?   454. Weekly? LOL.. sometimes!   455. Monthly? Hmmm. sometimes? ooops.   456. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? I can't say   457. Do you like waking up? not usually.. only if I'm not alone.   458. Are you a morning person? yeah, when I'm not alone.   459. Would you let a girl paint your nails if she asked? I won't let a girl do ANYTHING with me...   460. Do you do it yourself? No way...   461. Do your grandparents live in a cabin? they're dead... they're living in heaven.   462. Do you want to be the Unabomber junior? Nope.   463. Are you scared of the Easter Bunny? Nope.. now the ENERGIZER BUNNY, YES!!! he's terrifying!!!   464. What about the Tooth Fairy? Nope.   465. Do you like sitting on Santa's lap? Now, how can I sit on my own lap???   466. When was the last time you did? when I was 13, and it was my dad... next year, I took over for
him.   467. Would you sit on Santa's lap for some silly putty? Santa wouldn't survive...   468. Do you have a Ken doll? Nope.. my doll was named Suzie.   469. Do you like him? only when he's anatomically correct.   470. Do you want Barbie? Nope, I hate Barbie, that bitch has everything!   471. Do you still play with GI Joes? Nope, well.. the real life ones, yeah.. ok, you caught me!!   472. Are Transformers cool? nope.. passe   473. Do you love A Christmas Story? yeah,   474. Is it time to slam down? huh? It's time to DEW IT.   475. Does A Wonderful Life make you sick? Nope, makes me cry.   476. Do you like glue? nope.   477. What is your favorite recreational sport? too numerous to mention.   478. Do you have a car? not any more since moving to NY   479. What kind? cougar when I had one   480. What kind of car do you want? Mustang Convertible.   481. Have you ever swam in the Nile River? Nope, but sounds like fun if skinny dipping is allowed.   482. Do you have a thing for alligators? nope..   483. Are you a cat-man or a dog-man? dog man   484. Would you rather go to church or pet your dog? I'd pet your dog.   485. What is the plural form of "SWAN"? swans I guess?   486. Do you like geese? yeah, but they sure make a mess...   487. Do you like hot dogs? The bigger, the BETTER!!! Love to play HIDE THE WEINER!!!   488. What about hamburgers? Who do I look like? Wimpy.. (Don't answer that!!!)   489. Ketchup, mayo, or mustard? Mayo   490. What is your favorite letter? "Dear John"....   491. Cup or glass? Glass   492. How many calories are in one 8 OZ. serving of Western Family
Strawberry-Banana lowfat yogurt? who cares?   493. Are your feet cold right now? nope, are your's?   494. Do you believe in aliens? yeah,   495. Have you ever seen a UFO? yes, I have.   496. What is your newspaper called? I don't have a newspaper.   497. Do you enjoy work? IF I had work, I'd enjoy it.   498. Do you consider yourself smart? I did, until I started answering this survey.   499. Do you like your ears? not really, they're too hairy.   500. Do you know what? yeah, I do.   WOW, made it!!!