Gaily Forward- Gay Trivia Primer


What’s with all these “RAINBOWS”; and why Rainbows??

What do they mean “Are you a friend of Dorothy?”

What’s “LEATHER” got to do with being gay?

Why should I be “PROUD” of being homosexual?

Hello and welcome to another Gaily Forward.. Here is a short “primer” on some of the icons we have in our gay community!

– What is with all these “Rainbows”; and why Rainbows?? The rainbow symbols we adorn our cars, possessions, and bodies with are representative of the many different facets of the gay community… the different races, interests, (such as leather, drag, TS/TV, bears, twinkies, chubbies, and fetishes galore), ethnic backgrounds, religious beliefs, and other parts of the community, all coming together and being united towards one common goal, that being to not be ashamed of who you are, or what you are… just acknowledging it and working together to make life better for all of us who don’t fit society’s idea of “what is normal”!! Just like a prism brings all the different colors of light together to produce white light, all the facets of the gay community join together in Unity and Pride to advance our cause and help us stick together! And that’s why we use rainbows!

Now, one can’t think of rainbows without thinking of that wonderful song done by Judy Garland, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, which she sang to Toto as she was dreaming of a place where life would be different. A place where “troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops”, and where “happy little bluebirds fly, beyond the rainbow”. Dorothy found her “OZ”, only to finally discover that in spite of it’s seeming beauty and perfection, when all is said and done, “There’s no place like home”. “The Wizard of Oz” has become a gay icon, because of Dorothy’s dreaming of a place of acceptance, free from all of her worries and troubles, where she could just be free to be herself. Sounds nice huh? Therefore, if you are approached by someone who asks you if you are a “friend of Dorothy”, it’s a subtle non-threatening way of simply asking you if you are gay. In a straight crowd, it comes in handy!!! And you can approach cute guys (or girls) and without totally outing yourself to a straight person or taking a chance on being bashed for approaching them and saying, “Are you GAY?”, you can say, “Are you a friend of Dorothy’s?” and if they know what you’re talking about, YAY!!! If they say, “HUH?” then they either don’t know what you’re talking about or are straight, so excuse yourself and say, “Oh, never mind, thought I knew you!” and move on! No harm done!!

An alternative possible meaning of being a “friend of Dorothy” is a reference to celebrated humorist and critic Dorothy Parker, who included some gay men in her famous social circle from the 1930’s to the 1960’s when she passed away. It was popularly reported that she was even married to a bisexual man or two.

In the early 1980s, the Naval Investigative Service was investigating homosexuality in the Chicago area. Agents discovered that gay men sometimes referred to themselves as “friends of Dorothy.” Unaware of the historical meaning of the term, the NIS believed that a woman named Dorothy was at the center of a massive ring of homosexual military personnel. The NIS launched an enormous hunt for Dorothy, hoping to find her and convince her to reveal the names of gay servicemembers. Thank God they’ve now repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” so gay military personnel don’t have to worry about that anymore!

Now, what the heck does “LEATHER” have to do with being GAY??? Well, there are several leather clubs in town. I couldn’t even begin to cover all the many aspects of the leather community as a part of this article. Indeed, many postings go on forever dealing with the leather community and it’s meanings. But to give a quick short explanation, which is not in any way meant to be all encompassing… leather is, in it’s simplest form, a way of overcoming the stereotype of being the “typical flaming, femme, nelly fag”. By wearing leather, it looks butch & masculine, but some just simply like the smell, feel, and look of wearing leather clothing and adornments. Actually leather CAN go much deeper than that and does. Leather members usually are somewhat involved in enjoying things like Bondage, being Dominant or Submissive, and can get into things like Sadism and Masochism, involving the incorporation of the principle of “pleasure from pain”. There’s alot of underlying issues involved in the leather crowd, not the least of which involves being able to just totally put yourself– mind, will, and body, in the hands of someone else, by letting them handcuff you, blindfold you, tie you up, and do whatever they want to do with you. It takes alot of trust, endurance, and faith in your partner to be part of this scene, and enjoy it. My hat’s off to them. They are a very large and important part of the whole gay community!!

Why do we always talk about “GAY PRIDE” and talk about being proud to be gay? Well, the opposite of that is to be ashamed of being gay. Which way would you rather go through your life?

So many people have the feeling that they are doing something which they should be ashamed of because that’s the way they are indoctrinated from the time they are a small child. If you aren’t “NORMAL” then you should be ashamed for being different. I applaud PFLAG and the wonderful job they are doing with their public education program which they got a government grant to fund, informing the general public about the issues involved in being a gay child and being made to feel like you are a freak just because you happen to be gay. You’re not a freak just because you like people of the same sex, and you don’t have to be ashamed of it. You CAN have self esteem and should be just as proud of “who you are” as our straight counterparts are of who they are and who they sleep with. SEX is a part of our society and everyday life. No one can get away from it. Unless you live in a cave or have blinders on. It’s on billboards for tanning companies, in jeans ads, on soap operas, in magazines, on talk shows, it’s everywhere around us.

Until recently, it was all hetero images. Finally, we are getting some equal time… But only because we’re not ashamed to be gay… We can be proud now, thanks to the efforts of many who have blazed the trail ahead of us.

So be PROUD of who you are. Wear your rainbow colors & leather! Watch for other “friends of Dorothy” and let’s stick together as we go “Gaily Forward” together!!!

Please comment below! Thanks!

About BearChub4u

After 20 years of being in a sometimes happy, sometimes frustrated marriage, I decided it was time for me to stop living a life of lies and deceit and be true to who I really was, a gay man, and to start pursuing my own pathway to happiness. That pathway has had many high points and low points with many obstacles thrown at me by fate. While I have met many wonderfully sweet men over the years, some for short term relationships and others for brief encounters, my search continues for that one "Mr. Right" that I can be with long term, sharing everything in our lives together. to see who I'm searching for. Maybe it's you?
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One Response to Gaily Forward- Gay Trivia Primer

  1. This was a great post! Thank you for this.

    And yes, we are receiving more “face time” in the media for good things we as Gay Men do.

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