Gaily Forward- Not everyone has been users or losers… The Good Guys!

With my prior posting, I may have given the impression that everyone I’ve met has been a user or a loser. Quite the contrary to be honest! I’ve probably had more than my share of wonderful guys!

My first really serious relationship didn’t happen until 5 years after I had actually come out of my deep, dark closet. I was hanging out in the popular chatrooms of the old days on IRC-chat, talking to various friends I had made from around the world, and I received a private message from a guy in Italy. The date was Sept. 16, and after having a wonderful conversation in private chat we exchanged photos, and for both of us, it was truly love at first sight! He was a beautiful, tall, dark and handsome Italian who was 6’5″ tall, 30 years old, and as sweet as he could be. We decided to exchange phone numbers, and in the first month after making that initial contact on IRC-chat, we talked an amazing total of 42 HOURS long distance from St. Louis to rural Milan, Italy. I hadn’t “talked” to my ex-wife a total of 42 hours probably in the entire 20 years we’d been married! Things continued to develop and by the time of my birthday in November, he had already made plans that he was coming to St. Louis to meet me and to spend the holidays with me instead of being with his family. This required him actually coming out to his family for the first time in his 30 years of life, in order to explain why he would not be with them for the first time through the holiday season. I couldn’t believe it that he loved me so much, he was willing to make such life-changing decisions in order to be with me.

So he made the trip over to the USA, and things could not have gone better. Our first night together, after picking him up at the airport and going back to my apartment, we spent an hour or two just sitting in the living room in amazement that we were actually sitting face to face in the same country, state, city, room- FINALLY after so many webcam and telephone chats! When things turned romantic, we kissed and explored each others bodies, and decided it was time to go up to my bedroom. I told him to wait while I went up to make some preparations. I had planned things so it would be a night we would never forget. I went upstairs to my bedroom and lit the 45 candles that I had bought and placed strategically all around my bedroom. I had pillar candles, votive candles, candle sticks everywhere, from across the headboard of my waterbed to the dresser, to my chest of drawers, to the window sill and on both night stands. I told him to come on upstairs but blindfolded him before I opened the door and led him into the bedroom. I removed the blindfold and he was amazed at the romantic sight he beheld. We got naked and climbed into bed, and 3 or 4 hours later, was suddenly shocked back to reality after hours of passion when hot wax came dribbling down on us from the headboard. We hadn’t paid any attention to the candles and looked around and discovered there was hot wax all over everything… The windowsill, the dresser, the headboard…. everywhere! So we blew out the candles and snuggled up for a well needed sleep. When we awoke the next morning, it was his job to clean up the cooled wax as best he could while I cooked our breakfast.

He went to my job with me, taking me to work so he could have my car to drive around and tour St. Louis while I was working. He met my bosses, and they loved him and was so happy for us. We went out for lunches and dinners. We went to the gay bars where he met my friends. He was so handsome, that when we walked into the bar, with his tall Italian good looks, everyone in the room turned their head and you could audibly hear the ooo’s and ahhh’s and I was the envy of everyone present because he was the most awesomely beautiful guy in the room!

For Christmas, we went to my mother’s house for him to meet my family. My mother was thrilled to meet him and immediately made him feel like one of the family. My daughters loved him and he loved them and my grandson. I showed him all around the town where I had grown up and used to go to school, swimming in the summer, fishing, shopping, and the farm where we lived when I was very young. The strangest thing was sleeping at my mother’s house IN THE SAME BED WITH MY BOYFRIEND where I had slept for so many years with my ex-wife, and my mother just acted like it was the most normal thing in the world!

We returned back to St. Louis and spent the next week together until New Year’s Eve, and it was so wonderful actually having someone who I loved and who loved me to kiss at midnight at the party we went to. We decided that the next step was for me to meet HIS family, so we made plans for me to travel to Italy for Easter when I would have vacation time coming from my job.

After 10 wonderful days together with not one single negative thing happening, after he returned back to Italy, I began thinking in terms of moving to Italy so we could be together, and began slowly packing things and sorting things, marking boxes “To Italy” or “To Storage”. We began discussing how I could fit into his company which he had in Italy. He would call me at my job sometimes 8 times a day, and when my boss would hear me talking to him, she’d just smile and say, “Tell him hello from me!” I would answer the phone with my official USPS greeting, and he would just laughingly say, “Hello, is me!” I’d say, “I just talked to you 10 minutes ago!” and he would reply, “Yes, I know, but I wanted to hear your voice!” I felt so loved.

When I traveled to Italy, it was the first international voyage I had made since I was 19 years old BEFORE I GOT MARRIED, and the millstone was tied around my neck and my travel wings were clipped. She had no interest in travel or other cultures. I loved being back in Europe once again. He picked me up at the airport with his best friends and we went grocery shopping together because he had made arrangements for us to stay at the Lake Como villa of another of his close friends, so I would be cooking for us. When we arrived at the villa, it was truly breathtaking.

During the 10 days I was there, it was so wonderful. We went to a medieval castle for 2 nights! We spent Easter at his home with his family, and they welcomed me with open arms, treating me like an honored guest, even though his father was entering a battle with cancer. I couldn’t have felt more welcome. We went to his factory where I hoped to be working in the near future. We talked about what style of home we would build to live in, and what type of car to buy me to drive around in. We met his gay friends and had Easter dinner in a gay bath house in Milan sitting around the table with 15 of his friends naked in towels. He got insanely jealous because the towel boy was flirting with me. In 10 days during my visit, we went through 4 TANKFULS OF DIESEL FUEL covering most of northern Italy! No meal that we ate at a restaurant cost less than $50 for the two of us, and most were much more than that! It was just wonderful.

But I was larger than I had ever been in my life, weighing 500 pounds or 227 kg. and that was when I stepped on scales in Italy! To be honest, I was in alot of pain from my joints and back because that is just too much weight to be carrying around, and it was affecting my ability to make him happy sexually. So I came home on a mission to lose weight so that when we met again in August for our final test before my move over to be with him, I would be a lean mean fucking machine!

I starved myself, getting by on about 800 calories a day, and I was working out at a gym near my job 3 days a week after work. In the time between April, when I had been in Italy, and July, when we were making final plans for him to visit in August, I had lost 85 POUNDS! But sadly, 2 weeks before his trip to America, we got in a big argument and there was a major misunderstanding, and he broke up with me and instead of coming to St. Louis to be with me, he visited New York City instead and screwed around with other guys. I was heartbroken and devastated and my family was fearful for me to be alone because I was so distraught. I had already bought so many things that I had planned on surprising him with when he arrived, such as a gallon of chianti red wine, expresso coffee, special foods that I had bought and scheduled on a 3 week menu planner so I knew where we were going to be and what we were going to be eating every day he would be here! My mother had pre-planned meals to have when we went to her house again, including some spring morel mushrooms. But it all was for naught. It was over.

Several months later, I began getting acquainted with a guy from Norway and after a few months of chatting and talking on phone, he bought a ticket to fly over here for Christmas. But fate dealt me another cruel blow when he was turned away by immigration authorities in Detroit for no reason at all and put on the next flight back to his country. A few weeks later, a friend of mine who works for American Airlines, who had doubted his story about being turned away without reasonable cause, emailed me an apology with a link to a notice he had just received regarding the immigration authorities in Detroit being put on notice for rejecting immigrants just to exert their authority without following established guidelines. A few months later, after we got closer and closer long distance, I took advantage of an airfare sale and was able to fly over to Stockholm, Sweden where I met him and spent a long weekend together, having an absolutely wonderful time! He was everything I had expected, and more!

We talked about me moving to Oslo to be with him, and I began looking for potential jobs there. But you know what they say, out of sight, out of mind, and I’m pretty sure that he found someone in Norway to be with, perhaps getting back with his ex-boyfriend.

Following that, I focused on getting trained for being a computer technician and decided to relocate to New York City to get a fresh start and find my Mr. Right, because surely, in a city of 8 million people, there just HAD to be one for me! That’s where I’ll pick up in my next posting in Gaily Forward….

Please comment below! Thanks!

About BearChub4u

After 20 years of being in a sometimes happy, sometimes frustrated marriage, I decided it was time for me to stop living a life of lies and deceit and be true to who I really was, a gay man, and to start pursuing my own pathway to happiness. That pathway has had many high points and low points with many obstacles thrown at me by fate. While I have met many wonderfully sweet men over the years, some for short term relationships and others for brief encounters, my search continues for that one "Mr. Right" that I can be with long term, sharing everything in our lives together. to see who I'm searching for. Maybe it's you?
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One Response to Gaily Forward- Not everyone has been users or losers… The Good Guys!

  1. I clearly do not spend enough time on your blog! I LOVED reading about these stories. And although I AM so sorry that these two wonderful relationships with these two wonderful men ended rather badly, I AM truly happy that you had some wonderful times with them. Having known you for a few years, I AM crystal clear that you are a radiating center of Divine Love, and that you shall have a great romance again. Thanks for posting this.

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