I thought sure that I had already shared the story of how I came to be selected to be on the cover of the Bloodhound Gang CD, HEFTY FINE, but in doing a search on my blog for it this morning, it seems that I never did tell that story! So this is the story behind the iconic CD album cover!
The Bloodhound Gang, the band most famous for their song, “You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.” were coming out with a new CD after 10 years of not making any music.
They had decided that the name of the album was going to be HEFTY FINE, for one reason or another and they had the concept in their minds that they wanted a really big, fat, black woman, namely MoNique, to be naked on their album cover. So they hired her and had a photo shoot with her. At the time, she had gained notoriety as being a fat model with her own naked calendars and doing stand up comedy. When they sent the pictures with her naked in the box to Geffen Records, their record company, Geffen responded with, “Are you out of your fucking minds? You can’t exploit a fat, black, woman like that! You’re pissing off 3 demographics right there!!” They argued that this was what they wanted on their album cover, and Geffen replied back, “You can do it with a fat, WHITE, GUY…. But no way are you going to do it with a black woman! NO WAY!” So they said, “Ok! No problem!” And they hired a casting agent in New York City to find a fat, white guy who would be naked on their album cover!
The casting agent happened to be gay. He said he thought to himself after he hung up the phone from accepting their job, “Where the FUCK am I going to find a white guy over 300 pounds who is willing to be naked on a CD cover? Oh! The BEARS!!” Bears are gay guys who don’t conform to the usual concept of gay men, who don’t typically worry about going to the gym, and who don’t worry about the body hair that most men develop naturally. So he went to the website of a gay bears group here in New York and went through profiles, finding me and about 9 or 10 other big guys. He sent emails to me and the others asking us if we would be interested in making $1200. I responded of course! And I asked him what I needed to do. He said, “Oh just be naked on the cover of a music CD.” I said, “Sign me up!”
So he said he needed me to come to his office so he could take some pictures of me to send to the band. I told him I couldn’t because I was working but that I had plenty of recent pictures and could send some to him. So he told me to go ahead and send them, and he would see if they would be ok. So I sent him some pictures of me in an email, and at the bottom of my emails, I had what is called a “sig line” which contained contact information and I also had a link to one of my online profiles where I had also posted some pictures of me having sex with various guys, including one of me sucking a young 21 year old I had recently met.
So he liked my pictures and said they would be fine and forwarded my email to the band along with another email with pictures of the other 10 guys who had replied and went to his office to be photographed. So the band liked my pictures, but then noticed the link I had at the bottom of my email and said, “Let’s see what this is!” and clicked on the link. They saw my pictures of me sucking the young guy and having sex and said, “If this is his idea of “HEAD SHOTS”, he’s our guy!” and they chose me to be on their cover. They told audiences around the world that those were the pictures I sent them, but that’s not true. They had to go looking for them! They also told their audiences that I had sex with the band, but that also is not true! Not that I wouldn’t have, but it didn’t happen!
The photo shoot was held over in Philadelphia and they took about 400 pictures of me in one afternoon, all naked! There was a group of about 12 to 15 people at the studio including a makeup lady and representatives from Geffen Records. But there was a closed set when I was exposed and being photographed with only the photographer and the lighting guys where they could see me. They wanted two poses for the album. One of me stuffed into the box which was custom made specifically to fit me perfectly. That would be the cover and look like I was stuffed into the CD and the other one looking like a pin-up model stretched out in all my glory, but with nothing really showing. That picture is below:
So when the album was about to come out in 2005, all of the construction sites and bill board locations around New York City were plastered with the posters you see here. I had friends all over New York texting me telling me they had just seen me naked by Madison Square Garden or out in Queens.
When the band came to New York for a performance at Irving Plaza, the band invited me to come to their concert as their honored guest and had me sitting up in the VIP area overlooking the concert floor. After the concert, I was mobbed by the crowd wanting autographs and wanting to meet me. One girls had me autograph her breasts with a sharpie permanent marker. Another lady tried to come on to me, flirting with me and saying she had brought her 16 year old son to the concert for his 16th birthday and she was just crazy for me. I told her that I was sorry, but she wasn’t my type, because I’m gay and she replied in an instant, “Would you like my son?” His mouth dropped open and he screamed, “MOM!!!” I told her maybe when he was of legal age, but not at 16!
I was informed by their manager at the concert that they had just found out that day that the album was being featured in ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE!! He told me, “These guys should be forever indebted to you because there’s NO CHANCE IN HELL that THEY could EVER hope to be in Rolling Stone if it hadn’t been for you on the cover!” The album was included in the HOT LIST of the editors’ favorite albums, singles and videos.
I was contacted by guys from all over the world after the album came out wanting to say hello and telling me they’d seen me on their music store’s shelf. Some sent me pictures. One of the guys who contacted me was a guy in Serbia who had seen me sitting there on his music store shelf. He told me, “I stood there for 20 minutes rubbing myself through my pants imagining what it would be like to be with you, and then went back home and got on the computer to find out who you were and what I could discover about you!” He discovered I lived in New York and that I was actually gay, and he wrote me an email saying, “I have to meet you!!”
A few months later, I went to Europe on an extended vacation trip visiting 6 cities and countries, one of them being his. We met and spent a few days together and really hit it off well, so kept in contact and began to have feelings for each other. That ended up turning into a 2 year relationship which only ended due to the government not recognizing gay relationships for purposes of immigration and him having to return back to his country. It was wonderful while it lasted though!
Another thing that happened was the picture finding all sorts of new life on the internet being used as memes and a bear’s magazine in Italy asked to use it as their magazine cover along with an interview of me. Those are below…
So that’s most of the stories about me being on the Bloodhound Gang cover. I tried to find other ways to capitalize on my 15 seconds of fame, but just didn’t know how to find those opportunities. Feel free to comment or ask questions below!