It’s Been a Long Time! Happy New Year 2018!

I can’t believe it’s been six long months since my last posting. Time flies even when you’re not having fun! A lot has happened since my posting in July. So I’ll try to bring things up to date and also try to do a better job for 2018!

The last postings I made was about finding a boyfriend. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out. For reasons I won’t go into, we did end up meeting in October, but it just wasn’t meant to be. He decided to stick with his boyfriend who he lives with in London and focus on their relationship rather than moving across the ocean and trying to start a new one with me. He’s a great guy and who knows what the future holds. I wish him the best!

From July 4th through July 10th, I flew to Las Vegas and attended an event organized by website for Big Men and their admirers.

There were well over a thousand guys in attendance at the Tuscany Suites Resort and Conference Center. There were many activities during the week long event including poolside BBQ’s, gambling in the resort casino, a banquet with entertainment and a Chubs/Chasers of the Year contest, pool parties, as well as Karoake parties and an open bar hospitality room daily.

There were also many things to do in Vegas such as going to the original old town of Las Vegas. I went with a group who I met there for dinner at a Chinese buffet restaurant and spent one evening with a chaser at a delicious churrascaria in the Planet Hollywood complex. The weather in Las Vegas was record setting while we were there with daily temperatures of 115 F and at night, the heat usually didn’t go below 100 with the temperature being 111 F at 11pm the night we went to Planet Hollywood! The winds were blowing hard that night and with the hot temperatures, it was so dry that it dried out the tears on my eyeballs and it hurt to blink! To keep the resort pool from being too hot for swimming, instead of heating the pool, they had to keep pumping refrigerated water into it to keep it comfortable! (I’m sorry when you click on the pictures, the program rotates them for some reason and I haven’t been able to figure out how to fix it!!)

I met some friends again that I had made at the Convergence event I went to in Orlando last year. Billy Mukaisu and his husband Bobby live in Florida and are the sweetest couple! We hung out together at the pool parties and karaoke nights.

He’s a lot of fun to be around, always the life of the party! They’ve invited me to come and visit them anytime! I wish I was there now, although with this weather being so fucked up, it’s even cold down there, but not as cold as the -15F wind chill we have this morning in NYC!!

Way back in February, about the time I was going to Brazil for Carnaval, I was contacted by a really cute, sweet guy from Brazil who had just moved from Sao Paulo, where I was going, to study his English in Ireland for 6 months. It was SUCH bad timing!!! But then, that’s the story of my entire life! So anyway, we stayed in contact, although sparsely until his time in Ireland was coming to an end, and before returning to his native Brazil, he was coming to visit a friend of his from Brazil who lives in the New York City area and we would be able to meet.

His friend lives in New Jersey with his wife and he would be staying with them for a month and working with his friend through the work week to make some extra money before going back home to Sao Paulo, so we would have to meet on the weekend. The first weekend he was here, I was going to see a production of Hamlet being done by a theater group here in NYC, performing the classic Shakespeare play in the nude with a couple of my closest friends. He came over from New Jersey to my apartment before we were to be picked up by my friends, and we spent some time getting very nicely acquainted. Afterwards, I was concerned that even though it seemed like things went very well for our first rendezvous, that he would end up being just another one night stand, and I really wanted more from this beautiful Brazilian man! He really was beautiful and everything that I had been searching for these many years since my Macedonian had returned to his country in 2008.

Having dinner at Dallas BBQ Times Square

My fears were unfounded though, and we stayed in daily contact until the following weekend when we got together and went out for dinner together at Dallas BBQ in Times Square and went to see a movie.

The Unisphere at Flushing Meadows Park.

He spent the night with me and the next day, we went exploring out to see Flushing Meadows Park and the big Unisphere for some great pictures.

At the Brazil Day Festival in Little Brazil in NYC.

The following weekend, we went on a gay riverboat dance party cruise, getting some fantastic pictures of the NYC skyline and the Statue of Liberty! After the cruise, we went back to my place and then on Sunday, he went out exploring NYC doing the sightseeing snapping pictures. The last weekend he was here was Labor Day weekend and we spent it together on Saturday night, Sunday and Monday, going to a Brazil Day Festival on Sunday, enjoying Brazilian food and drinks as well as Brazilian entertainers. He compared their female headliner entertainer as the Maria Carey of Brazil. On Sunday, we took an NYC ferry boat to the New Jersey Shore to go to the beach at Sandy Hook’s Gunnison Beach, which is clothing optional. So we spent the day enjoying the heat and sun in the nude! It was a wonderful way to spend our last weekend together before he began his return back to his native Brazil.

We had many discussions while he was here about his experiences in Europe, which he never dreamed he would ever experience, being from a third world country in South America and about him coming first to Canada to visit a Brazilian friend currently living there and then coming here and meeting me. He had a boyfriend in Brazil he had been with for 8 years before they broke up when he went to Ireland to study, so they had been apart for 7 months. He told me that a long time Brazilian friend who he met several times in London and went on some European adventures with had asked him to marry him. He told him no because he said he didn’t love him. He said they had some fun times together, but there was no feelings of love. But he told me that he did have feelings for me, and that I was someone who he would consider marrying. But first he had to go back to Brazil and see his family and that his ex-boyfriend had taken over a failing tech support company and had a job waiting for him when he returned to help him run the new company and be in charge of the technicians. He said that he felt torn because he knew that working side by side with his former lover, they would probably rekindle the old feelings after being together for 8 long years. But if things didn’t work out in Brazil, there was still a chance that we could end up together.

He has now returned back to Brazil and we’ve been talking almost daily. As expected, he and his former boyfriend did get back together, but he still says he has strong feelings for me and is still considering his options to move to New York and be with me. Only time will tell, but I’m beginning to lose hope. It seems he’s forgotten his feelings for me and how happy he was outside of Brazil. It seems my search goes on.


My birthday was in November but other than going out to TGIFridays for a free BBQ Ribs dinner and dessert with my best friends, it was fairly uneventful. The waiter saved me the embarrassment of being sung to by everyone, thankfully!


My annual Christmas picture with the Big Balls by Rockefeller Center.

The Rockefeller Christmas Tree in the background. Getting closer was too crowded!

I had hoped that I would have someone special to celebrate my birthday and the holidays with, but once again, as in years past, they came and went and I was just home alone. I did cook nice dinners for myself and enjoyed them! I attended the holidays party of the New York Bear Den, and had a good time seeing my friends there. I hadn’t been to a meeting since January, since I have withdrawn from participating in it after 8 long years. My roommate was traveling during Christmas and New Years with his boyfriend, so I had the apartment all to myself. We just finished a 2 week period here in New York of sub-freezing temperatures with wind chills diving below zero several times. For those who use Celsius, today (1/9/18) was the first day in 14 days that the temperature went above 0C and at night, the lows felt like -20C several nights. We also had 20 cm (8 inches) of snow with winds whipping it around at tropical storm speeds of 60 mph (100 kph).

It’s normal in New York City for the landlords to control the heat in apartment buildings because the heat is typically included in your rent. Sometimes, the landlords are somewhat stingy with the heat and during this cold wave period, when it was the coldest outside, the temperature in my apartment got down to 62F or 16.6C. It was very cold!! And no one to snuggle with!!


This past year, I saw quite a few movies including several advance screenings. Ones I really enjoyed included “LIFE”, “GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 2”, “THE CIRCLE”, “BAYWATCH”, “WONDER WOMAN”, “BABY DRIVER”, “THE MUMMY”, “VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS”, “WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES”, “ATOMIC BLONDE”, “SPIDER-MAN”, “ONLY LIVING BOY IN NEW YORK”, “DARK TOWER”, “GEOSTORM”, “BLADE RUNNER 2049”, “JUSTICE LEAGUE”, “THOR: RAGNAROK”, “STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI”, “THE GREATEST SHOWMAN”, and “PHANTOM THREAD” was one that I wished I hadn’t seen, it was so miserably bad!

I’ve seen “VALERIAN….” more than once, and it’s an amazing movie! The new “STAR WARS” movie was awesome, of course! “JUSTICE LEAGUE” was better than the “BATMAN VS SUPERMAN” movie was. “THE GREATEST SHOWMAN” with Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron was a fun musical movie about the life of PT Barnum. One of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time was “CALL ME BY YOUR NAME”, an independent film that’s received a lot of awards and accolades around the nation and is now winning awards in Hollywood. Timothy Chatelet was just nominated for Best Actor in the Oscars! He deserves it! It is a beautiful love story about a younger/older gay couple in 1980’s northern Italy.

That pretty much brings me up to date with what’s been going on with me. As I said, I’m going to try to do better in 2018 than I did in 2017! Getting some comments would help me feel that these are actually being read so they’re worth writing! Comment below!

About BearChub4u

After 20 years of being in a sometimes happy, sometimes frustrated marriage, I decided it was time for me to stop living a life of lies and deceit and be true to who I really was, a gay man, and to start pursuing my own pathway to happiness. That pathway has had many high points and low points with many obstacles thrown at me by fate. While I have met many wonderfully sweet men over the years, some for short term relationships and others for brief encounters, my search continues for that one "Mr. Right" that I can be with long term, sharing everything in our lives together. to see who I'm searching for. Maybe it's you?
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One Response to It’s Been a Long Time! Happy New Year 2018!

  1. Clark says:

    Loved reading your yearly summary, Wayne! I remember reading about you getting involved with a Brit and you wondering what was involved in getting him to be over with you in NYC. I kept meaning to drop you a line to say that I went through this and could offer guidance on how to go about the process. Sadly, your Brit relationship was not to be, but if you do meet someone from overseas and choose the marriage route, hit me up and I will talk you through all that’s involved.

    Really hope you will find your man in 2018 too. Also, a little bit of advice when it comes to dating. Don’t get involved with guys who have a partner, or still have strong ties to an ex partner. It nearly always ends in tears. Of course, if it’s all up front and nothing more is promised than a fun few nightd, then go for it. Regardless, you deserve a good man so don’t settle for second best or let people take advantage of your big heart.


    Clark xxx

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